Ok. So, most of my insanity has lifted. I have accepted the shit that has happened and ALL the things that I cannot change. I have finally set up a little plan. I am leaving Charleston. I think it for the best. Particularly, after seeing a "friend" of mine being hauled off to jail on the channel 2 news for drugs and assorted other crimes. In the process his niece is being placed in protective custody because her mother was at work while he getting arrested. At one point in the not too distant past, I would have very likely have been at that same house getting arrested. But somehow through decisions of others and haphazard self-guidance, I got lucky. Very lucky. And after getting bitch-slapped by a lunatic at the mental health clinic this week, I think NOT going to jail was ample karmic retribution. Like "Hey, I'll humiliate the SHIT out of you and force you to replace your phone, BUT I won't get you arrested." The prices we must pay.
I have also officially gave up on love this week. Not that I don't believe in it. I have experienced it. I just don't want it anymore. It does not go well with my brain chemistry. It is like lighting a fuse in my ear and just waiting for my head to explode. MAYBE. One day. In my forties or so. It might catch me off guard. But for now I am going with what I know. Self-centered. Protective. Condescending. Judgmental. I am gonna get me a new car and a new life and waller in shallow materialism. It works for everyone else. I can do anything they can do better. Fake tan. Fake smile. Silver tongued reptile.
It is time to rule the carrot people....
1 comment:
love is all chemical. "the scientists" even believe too much prozac will kill it. (yeah i just read an article about it) Shallows are good places for catching fish...but people piss alot there too. pretense. flash. thanks for the mountain dream it was nice...
im no fool..-Coal
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