A Time to Forget

So, I called my doctor Monday morning. Since I am poor, the emergency room is a last resort. The scheduling lady said the earliest I could be seen was this last Thursday at 10:30AM. If I started to run a fever of over 101 degrees fahrenheit or more or if I swoll abnormally larger in the affected areas, I was to go to the ER. So, I figgered, "Hey! I can make it a few more days." Not that I hate doctors. I love good ones. I just didn't see what the rush was when waiting would mean most of the visit would be covered under the Ryan White Grant I am on. Wednesday night, I was in terrible pain, started to run a 100 degree fever, and little if any sleep. By 8:30AM and upon finding my fever at 101 degrees, I skipped my head-shrinking appointment and went early to my doctor's appointment. I was septic. I felt like my eyeballs were being poached in my skull. Shortly after being seen, it was determined that I was to be admitted to the hospital for at the very least one night. I was immediately placed on super strength IV antibiotics, and remained on a regimen the entire time I was there. Between the fever and the pain, sleeping was not an option. I was stuck with needles at every necessity, and my IV was moved a minimum of four times. That was a chore in and of itself, since evidently even RNs are not properly trained in the "art" of doing it well. Things got better after 5PM when I got my own room. Very nice bed. I mean shit the bitch controlled the TV (built in surround sound,) called the nurse, and constantly readjusted to relieve pressure points over the whole mattress.

Good things: The drugs kept me retarded. I had one nurse that was very HOT! And the Princess Groom spent as much time as possible with me. The whole cast came to see me at one point or another. I am sooo grateful to all of them. Nobody brought outside issues to me and that was really nice. Several people took turns wheeling me out, though PG must be credited with the most miles to her card. LOL Check her newly formed BLOG out at the Sista Mary Christmas link. Sunday afternoon I got released.

All things said and done, I am still sore and having to have wounds repacked and bandaged with help. But I am going to be OK. It was one of those things you go through when you are HIV+ that scare you. You really want to keep that strong, stoic facade on for all those you care about. Don't want people feeling sorry for you or your loved ones worrying over you. So, you keep all your fears of death or disease locked inside. There is nothing worse than having a disease except watching those who care the most about you suffer along side you. I have learned to laugh at the whole thing at times and I advise those in my shoes and those who are close to those who are to do it too. Laugh. Make jokes. Do it benevolently as not to insult. But make sure you do it. Sometimes laughter is all you got left, and I am not losing that until I die.